Sharing an experience 2 - Paying it forward or backwards??

[Al]

I thought I would share a recent experience in the same vein as a posting by Charlie - sharing an experience -  this is not meant as piling on negativity but rather a disappointing experience. Giving free stuff away.
I posted some free cichlids a week or so ago - one of those occasions where I needed to move some fish and thought, hey, maybe I can help someone out by giving them some free fish, actually some very nice fish. I had some others for sale. I thought I could create a win-win. So an interested party wants to pick up the fish, but they can't come until 6 pm, I am going out of town at 2 but tell them I'll wait until 6. Delay my plans (instead of driving to downtown Montreal at 3:00, what the heck, I figure I can drive at 7:00 in the dark), they come for the fish and we chat about husbandry needs, etc. I also show him a few of my tanks, we chat. I spend 30 minutes or so giving advice - temps, food, etc - so I can help ensure these fish are well taken care of. We all know how that goes when we sell or give away fish.
24 hours later I get an email from another OVAS member who knows me, giving me a heads up that the fish were posted on Kijiji for a good price. 24 hours later !! , for good money. I found the ad and it was later deleted - sold, I don't know?
Long story short, I sent the party a PM asking if it was true and asking if they indeed didn't want the fish, why didn't they return them to me or pay the favour forward and give them free to someone else to enjoy rather than trying to benefit financially. Why did they take my time asking questions like they were interested in the best for the fish. As of me sending the PM 1 week ago, I haven't received a reply. They didn't have the decency or the courage to reply.
Sad day when that has to happen - good thing there are lots of great people in the hobby that overshadow these types.
Giving stuff away can be harder than selling it.

[ajm1961]

Unreal! That is shameful behaviour. So much for being a "good Samaritan".
You are right though that there are some good people in the hobby - and you are one of them Al.
Thanks for sharing.

[lucius]

Same thing happened to me except it was just plastic plants for me.  I thought I was helping the interested party out but found them for sale on kijiji a few weeks later.  OVAS is the first forum in which I keep a blacklist! 

[Jeff1192]

Wow that's sad. I have given free fish away a few times......just glad I've never found them posted on kijiji the next day.....I wouldn't be happy.

[Al]

Unfortunately, many of these people that believe they are winning by taking advantage of "good deeds" don't realize how really small and connected our world really is. What goes around..................

[sas]

Simply astounding that someone would have the nerve to do this!
Terrible.

[George2]

Wow. That is extremely insulting!

[exv152]

The gall and arrogance of some people to take something that's free and try to profit. I feel the same way about the free ads in kijiji and usedottawa to give unwanted fish "a free home", you never know what they're gonna do with them, they may resell them or feed them to predatory fish. It's sad really.  But it's good we talk openly about these sorts of things.

[Al]

I wasn't even sure I was going to post this issue as I didn't want to come across as whining but I have to tell you this forum has helped me manage my anger over this, accept it and move on.
Hopefully the member involved has read these posts and has come to appreciate another point of view about "free stuff" and the fact that issues like this in our society have unstated rules of conduct that are understood and accepted as just and fair without having to be said.
Bottom line - "pay it forward".

  "Pay it forward." When you notice that somebody has done something nice for you, make a note in your mind to practice three acts of kindness towards other people,

[guck]

I share your frustration. 

[Mike L]

 Al
Are you saying they are members on the forum. If so Please share or pm me the name as I don't want to have the same happen when I go to sell fish I'm breeding. And if they are members is there not conduct rules that would get them barred from the forum. I'm absolutely stunned.
Mike

[Al]

Mike,
Appreciate your thoughts. Yes, they are a member of OVAS posting on our site.
At the end of the day, as Linda Ronstadt sang in her song
"Poor poor pitiful me"

Now I ain't naming names
Well he really worked me over good
Just like Jesse James

I'm not going there with IDing anyone. If you and I have a beer some time or have a chat, I'd share it with you. But I wouldn't even remotely entertain naming the party on a forum or sending it out to people.
I'd put myself on the other side.

Al

[Mike L]

 Fair enough. I was just telling my wife about what happened to you and Errol and she was appalled. She understands the time and effort I put into my fishes and tanks as many on this site do with theirs and her reaction was....well trucker like. No offence meant. I would love to do the beer thing though.  And not for this purpose. Your a cichlid guy and there are so damn few of us around it seems.

In the end you did what most of us would and that's all you can do. Pay it forward. Don't look back. But pay attention.
Regards Mike

[charlie]

Al
Are you saying they are members on the forum. If so Please share or pm me the name as I don't want to have the same happen when I go to sell fish I'm breeding. And if they are members is there not conduct rules that would get them barred from the forum. I'm absolutely stunned.
Mike

In the past they were a couple of people that got banned from the forum for doing exactly that.
Errol

[bitterman]

I have seen similar things in the past and it sad some people are so crooked. I've had it happen to me also.......

Bruce

[lucius]

Wouldn't matter if they were ID'd.  They would just create another handle.

[Stussi613]

I feel the same way about the free ads in kijiji and usedottawa to give unwanted fish "a free home"

The guy on kijiji that runs the cichlid "rescue" is actually very much into breeding and selling fish.   Just click view posters other ads and you'll see that he has lots of stuff for sale. He takes in fish from people and sells them.

There are quite a few people on this site who see someone's generosity as an opportunity to profit, and it's happened to me in the past too.   I like to comfort myself by thinking they needed the money...but I think I'm probably being too optimistic.

[exv152]

Thanks for not posting the name, as a moderator I'd be forced to remove it as it contravenes the rules, but I definitely welcome the one-on-one discussion. Thanks for posting this Al.